You may recall reading about the loss of my bedroom slippers recently. Having come to terms with this loss, I decided to go to one of my favorite stores on the web, Zappo's, to see if I could find a new pair for myself.

My search was immediately rewarded when I stumbled across a cozy looking pair with the improbable name "Teresa." That is the name of the slipper, which you see pictured here in lavender, although it also comes in cheetah. It seemed like a true victory for one-to-one-marketing; I mean, the slipper actually had my name on it!

I browsed the slippers at Zappo's some more and I came across yet another winner: "Carmen." As you can see from the image shown here, "Carmen" projects a different image than "Teresa." If I had to chose a single word to describe that image, I think it would be "pretentious." It's generally not a good quality in humans but I think it's alright in footwear.

I was pondering whether my personality is more like the comfy and cute "Teresa" or the somewhat masculine but fruity "Carmen" when I came across "Xena." Naturally, part of me wanted to get "Xena," seen in the image shown here as a svelte black model with faux fur trim. Yet as I reflected on how well the sexy "Xena" suited me compared to frumpy "Teresa" and uptight "Carmen," I found my conclusions did not please me.

"Xena" was just a little too attractive for its own good. "Xena" was forcing me to come face to face with my own inadequacies, my own inability to live up to the larger-than-life image of Xena as represented in this moderately priced bedroom slipper. Who needs that much grief from a slipper? So I browsed some more, hoping I might find a comforting "Gabrielle" slipper to cheer me up. Sadly, I found nothing.

Since I did my first browsing, the "Xena" slipper has sold out. I'm still trying to choose between "Teresa" and "Carmen." If you have a preference as to which one you think I should get, please let me know in the comments section.

The other day I was contemplating the possibility that L Word star Daniela Sea and teen heartthrob Zac Efron might have been separated at birth. The butch lesbian/teen idol connection seems pretty commonplace to me. Certain males can look very feminine in the years before puberty fully kicks in--the teenage Donny Osmond is a classic example.

Interestingly, a certain feminization can occur as men get older as well, or at least that's the message I'm getting from the web site men who look like old lesbians. I found this site through the Thrillest Los Angeles mailing list, which I subscribe to. Bruce Jenner is named as the inspiration behind the site, but it has expanded to include a wide range of men, and they take reader submissions. I don't agree with all the site's offerings but they certainly give one something to think about, much as the old site Lesbian or German Lady? once did. Consider, for instance: Roger Ebert or Walter Mercado. Now tell me that didn't make you think.

A few more observations: I see some of Gertrude Stein--the stance, the clothes--in this photo of Merv Griffin, and I find an uncanny resemblance to Billie Jean King in this image of Warren Beatty. My estimation of both men just went up.

I'm making up for the time since my last post with a catch-up post, summarizing my experience over the last few weeks. I decided the easiest way to do this was to divide the major events in my life into two categories: those keeping me sane and those driving me towards the brink. Here are my highs and lows of the past month:

Keeping me sane

• The Force is with me. The sister and I went out one night together and bought matching Sony PSP Star Wars Bundles. We had both held out on the system until now; she wanted it for Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions, and I wanted it for Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles. We both love Star Wars, and Star Wars Battlefront: Renegade Squadron, the game that came with the bundle, proved to be more fun than I expected.


• Karma junkie. Under the Bush administration, I've become impatient with reading the news. I want my news straight up these days, that's why I depend on Max and Stacy's daily Karmabanque podcast. They don't futz around with the intricacies of party politics. They just give me what I want to know, raw: who made how much money killing, oppressing and impoverishing who. Their Gulag Wealth Fund provides a shorthand method of tracking what's really going on.


• Screamin' like a banshee. Joe sent me the CD of Siouxsie Sioux's new solo album, Mantaray, for my birthday. It's pretty gorgeous. Years ago, I remember hearing Siouxsie and the Banshee's song "Desert Kisses" when Kaleidoscope first came out and thinking to myself, "This is kind of lesbian." That's also been my reaction to almost every song on Mantaray. In this case, however, Siouxsie's said a few things in the press to confirm that interpretation.


• Girly stuff. I really, really like the Cute Little Red-Headed Girlfriend's Elmo panties. The hot pink ones, with "Love Me" written in bubble letters above the picture of Elmo on the crotch. I know, I know. TMI.


• Aspirational television. I have been totally hooked on the show Damages. Week after week I've watched in awe as Glenn Close opened my mind to immense new vistas of bitchiness. Through the character Patty Hewes, Close has brought me to understand levels of bitchiness I never even knew existed. I ask myself: can I possibly aspire to such intensely bitched out behavior in my lifetime? Am I up to the challenge? Thank you, Glenn Close. You have raised the bar for me.

• Where there's fire there's smoke. The air in Los Angeles after the Southern California fires has been an abomination--a miserable, foul toxic brew. There is just no way to explain to you how bad the air feels, tastes, smells. The best word I can come up with to describe it to you is: chewy.


• I was robbed. Anyone who has had a girlfriend knows there's a brief window of time after your girlfriend has swiped some an item in your wardrobe when it's possible to get that item back. If you act forcefully within this time period, taking back the item in question, one can retrain the girlfriend, much as one would an errant puppy: "No. Put that down. Put it down. No! That's not for you!"
  However, if one misses this brief window, one has no option but to give the item up. And so I say now: "Goodbye, faithful bedroom slippers! Fare thee well."


• Another one bites the dust. Johnny Bacardi is leaving the blogosphere after five years of publishing The Johnny Bacardi Show. But all is not lost, as he can still be found on livejournal and at his Elton John blog.


• La nausee. While shopping in the Container Store with the Cute Little Red-Headed Girlfriend, I suffered an existential meltdown as I was confronted with the full extent of my own lack of organization. I shuddered as the world was revealed as just so many things in need of being boxed.


• Don't tell mama. I missed Lucy Lawless's show in Chicago, a fact of which I am not proud. But I poured over the pictures and commentary from the event, and I contributed this lovely wallpaper derived from the show, which I encourage you to download. I will be there both nights of Lucy's Roxy shows in January. Email me if you want to meetup.

I recently started writing for AfterEllen.com, a website devoted to lesbian and bisexual women in entertainment and media. I've been impressed with the way the site has grown over the past year and I'm happy to be writing to it. My feature on Latina playwright Odalys Nanin is up on the site as of today. The piece I wrote touches on politics as well as lesbian and gay issues. I hope you will go check it out.

The dreaded day has come and gone wherein my partner in crime, my next door neighbor, Shirley to my Laverne, my big gay husband, long known to In Sequence readers as my good pal, Joe, left Los Angeles for an undisclosed location in the Midwest. He's there now, preparing for the start of the academic year at his new job. In addition to the many titles I listed above, he has now earned the designation "Dr. Joe."

Joe has a new blog and a new podcast, both named Bored Beyond Belief. The most recent podcast was recorded while driving to his new home. Joe's using a more personal and informal format than in previous podcasts. He also promises to have me as a guest on his show soon--I'll let you know when.

While perusing the Horror Blog, I came across a link labeled Dueling Bathorys. I only know of one Bathory--Erzebet Bathory--and the thought of two of her definitely raised the hair on the back of my neck. Following the link revealed that there are two competing movies about Bathory in the works: The Countess and Bathory.

Until I started preparing to write this post, I wasn't aware that many of the details surrounding Bathory's life are in dispute. The established facts seem to be that she was born noble, was implicated in the deaths of numerous women, and was tried for their deaths. Bathory is still considered to be the most notorious serial killer ever to have come out of Hungary.

The parts of the story that are in question appear to involve the motive and method behind the murders. One common story concerning Bathory is that she murdered because she was worried about losing her looks and believed that by bathing in the blood of virgin women she could regain her youthful appearance. Another holds that Bathory was a sadist and employed intricate tortures in taking life.

Some historians believe these stories are legends that grew out of prejudice against women. The story about Bathory killing out of vanity, for instance, may have grown out of people's discomfort with the idea of a female murderer. Killing was not considered to be part of a woman's inherent nature, but, the rationale goes, a woman's vanity might override her natural instincts and drive her to murder.

I was first exposed to the legend of Erzebet Bathory through a dramatic production of the Blood Countess, an adaptation of poet Robert Peters's long poem of the same name. Robert Peters devoted much of his writing career to investigating dark subject matter, including serial murder, death and madness. A number of his works, including his long poem about Mad Ludwig of Bavaria, are available online for free.

Peters performed the lead role in the play of the Blood Countess himself, in drag. The photo here shows him in full makeup as Erzebet. Although there was some comic edge underlying his performance, Peters played the role of a woman with great seriousness, carefully modulating his voice to a female register as he spoke.

Peters gave life to the more extreme legends around Bathory, depicting her as a sadistic, wanton murderer. Yet he also infused her with some of the seductive appeal that movie audiences responded to in the character of Hannibal Lecter. For example, the play begins with Bathory calling out with girlish exuberance, "Give the chained women extra rations of milk and cheese!" Bathory's infectious happiness and pleasure in her own generosity is contrasted with the reminder that somewhere, offstage, a slew of young women are chained up, awaiting death.

Even though all the horrors in the Blood Countess took place offstage, when I saw it performed, their description was enough to drive one audience member out of her seat and straight out the back door. It's fascinating the way our minds can imagine so much more, and so much worse, than our eyes can see. I imagine that when the two Bathory movies come out, very little will be left to the imagination. There will be a bloodbath, in more ways than one. But with so much mystery surrounding this woman's story, there's at least the potential for much more.

I've made a few site changes that I hope will make In Sequence easier to use. The category archives are now paginated, so instead of having to load all six years worth of posts in any given category, readers will get a more easily digestible 15 posts per page.

I've also added Zooomr buttons to the bottom of posts in those cases where additional photos are available for viewing at my Zooomr page. Although I have a flickr account, I chose to put my photos on Zoom because of the existence of content filters (censorship) on flickr. Most of my recent photos have been NSFW, so I felt that Zoom was the logical choice for me.

Just before leaving for Dinah, I ran across an article at CNET called Want a job? Clean up your web act. It revealed that employers and human resources representatives are using personal information found online through Google, blogs, MySpace and other places on the Internet to make hiring decisions. According to the article:

Examples of online information that has been shown to create negative information include MySpace pages that reveal excessive drinking or disrespect for work.

This week, in a Wall Street Journal article titled "How Blogging Can Help You Get a New Job," more evidence of how an online identity can work against you in hiring situations:

Mr. Glass was also put off by instances of foul language and comments about getting drunk. "This was a character problem," he says. "Whether you're writing about people you interviewed with or you're making a public statement that can be construed as immoral, these are the types of things an employer is going to look at and consider in their assessment of you as a candidate."

Just a reminder to those editors and marketing types who have enjoyed reading my Dinah Shore adventures, I am a professional writer and you can contact me through my email address--at right--for all your excessive drinking, burlesque dancing and lowlife-related copy assignments.

As of today, In Sequence has been up and running for six years. Happy Blogiversary to me!

I have taken sooooo long to respond to being tagged by this meme that the person who tagged me, Joe, no longer even has a website up. But it's been so long that maybe you've completely forgotten about the meme and answering these questions will seem new again.

Four jobs I have had

• Lead Copywriter


• Antiquarian Book Salesperson


• Creative Director


• Bra Model (no, you cannot see the pictures)

Four movies I can watch over and over

• High Noon (because "Do Not Forsake Me, Oh, My Darlin'" is the catchiest song of all time)


• The Wizard of Oz


• Ed Wood


• Cooking with Madge: Lesbians on Acid

Four places I’ve lived

• Los Angeles, CA


• Durham, NC


• Schenectady, NY


• Brighton, England

Four TV shows I love

• Bewitched


• Xena: Warrior Princess


• Masterpiece Theater


• Star Trek: Voyager

Four vacation spots

• Disneyland


• Manhattan


• Cornwall


• New Zealand

Four of my favorite dishes

• Cassoulet (so it's a little fattening)


• North Carolina-style chopped barbecue pork sandwich


• Bean and cheese burrito


• Wedgwood Green Frog Service (hat tip to Scrubbles)

Four sites I visit daily

• LAist


• Lifehacker


• Raw Story


• AUSXIP

Four places I’d rather be right now

• Over at the Frankenstein Place


• Bob's Coffee & Doughnuts at the L.A. Fairfax Farmer's Market


• Margaritaville


• Wackyland

For years, I didn't pay that much attention to what people were searching for when they came to my site. That's because, for the most part, it was rather predictable. People were looking for "sex comics" and that's how they found my site. In time the searches became more particular, but they were essentially variations on the original: "lesbian comics," "nude comics" and "veronica nude comics" were all very popular search queries.

Now, however, there is a lot more variety, and for the first time I'm finding a lot of natural language queries in the search requests that lead to In Sequence. Often I feel a sense of sadness well up inside me when I see these unanswered questions in my search queries list--it's like hearing a cry in the wilderness. So I thought I'd put some of these queries before my readers, in the hopes that someone might have the answers readily available. Please reply in the comments if you know:

Query: What qualities are gay millionaires looking for in boy toys?
Anyone?

Query: Zombie sightings in east los angeles?
I'd like to know myself.

Query: If you've been locked alive inside a coffin can you get out if it's behind a wall?
I think this one might be urgent.

Now one that I can answer.

Query: Favorite Smiths lyrics?
That's a tough choice. It's also difficult to consider the lyrics apart from the Smiths's lovely guitar, but I think I'd choose That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore.

"I am not watching one more time!" I vowed to those in the room. "It's over! I'm done with it! They have so jumped the shark for me!"
My outburst came moments after the marathon watching last year's Academy Awards show with the Cute Little Red Headed Girlfriend, Joe, and the Sister. I was pissed over Brokeback Mountain's losses, which I attributed to homophobia. I was expecting my pals to join me in my righteous anger, but instead I was faced with smiles and soft chuckles. I was confused.
"Don't you agree with me?!" I asked.
"Yes, we agree with you," the Girlfriend said jovially. "It's just that you say this every year."
"No. I mean it this time!"
Okay, so let's just say I meant it for several months. Until the Academy announced that Ellen DeGeneres would be hosting the awards in 2007, and I came to terms with the inevitable.
But I'm going to need help getting through it. So this year, inspired by the annual State of the Union Address Drinking Game, I'm going to devise my own Academy Awards Drinking Game. Every time I hear a reference to piracy, copyright or DRM technologies, I'm taking a drink.
This year, I think I'll be pulling for The Devil Wear Prada. It's a hard choice between Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep, but you know, I just loved that moment when Miranda Priestly commands Andrea to get down on the carpet and hike up that ugly skirt immediately.
Wait, it didn't happen that way? Actually I went looking for Miranda/Andrea fan fiction and found some at a Russian livejournal site. I thought I had explored the outer reaches of slash fan fiction before, but until you've used Google's BETA Russian language translator to read a femslash story, I don't think you can really say that you've explored all that the genre has to offer.

Edit: I have been able to restore all my archives to their proper location since reading this post. The links below have been changed to link to the new and proper location and old or out-of-date links have been removed.

Note to new readers:
From my stats page, I can see how many hits I'm getting, what pages people are reading, and how long readers are staying on my site. And I'm very flattered that so many of you are choosing to read deeply into the archives.

Unfortunately, a big chunk of posts from 2006 is missing (for boring technical reasons you don't want to know about) and I haven't managed to import them into this current version of my blog, with its boring, icky design that I absolutely cannot stand.

There isn't a quick way to change my design or import my old posts, but you can access these "missing" posts, which I still have up under my old design. A caution: you only navigate in a limited number of ways on these pages, and the search function does not work.

The way to reach my missing archives, should you wish to, is to go to the first one, from February 2006, and click the orange link above the post to the right of the word "Home" until you get to the last one in October 2006.

To make reading a bit less laborious, I've grouped some of these missing links into a few categories, a "best of," if you will.

Xenaverse-related:

• Something New in the Xenaverse


• She's Got Mona Lisa's Smile

• Superheroes Return


• Saint Nintendo


• Hair Horror


• Sontag's Revealing Journals


• O Mighty Isisisisisisisis

If you do choose to read all the way through, you'll notice I was on several podcasts last year. Unfortunately, I regret to inform that those episodes of the late, great Beppepodcast are no longer readily available, as my friend Joe took them all down because he's a big drama queen like that.

If you're looking for a good lesbian podcast, I recommend listening to Hot Fossils and Rebel Matters or fat bloated Jewish lesbian Madge Weinstein at Yeast Radio. Not coincidentally, I've been an audio commenter on both shows, inquiring about the Canadian beaver population on Hot Fossils and Rebel Matters and ranting about the pope on Yeast Radio/Sirius.

Note to long-time readers:
I know. It's a bit much, isn't it? Just think of it as Xenaweek here at In Sequence. But I know some of you long-time readers are comics fans, and probably watch Battlestar Galactica, and some of you are gay men, and kinda identify with Gabrielle, and some of you are horror fans, and you dig Bruce Campbell. It's all just one big fandom in a way.

By the way, any of you out there a big MySQL wiz and can help me restore my old posts to my database? I'm sure I've got *something* I could give you in exchange for your time.

1280x1064(138kb)
Right click to download. Click here for the meme.

The post-Lucy Lawless concert comedown is an ugly thing. After you've digested all you can on AUSXIP and the other usual hangouts, what else is there?

I've tried distracting myself to no avail. I have no idea what the first episode of season two Rome was about. People in robes passed back and forth, words were spoken...even watching episode two of the L Word was of limited use...perhaps Lucy should appear on the L Word...yeah, when's that gonna happen?

Last night, I tried digesting an episode of Bad Girls, thinking that could jolt me. Nada. It's still all about Lucy. I need me a Lucy patch right about now. Christie, pull yourself together, girl, and get that interview with Lucy and Renee up there.