Although negative images of lesbians in mainstream entertainment have drawn protests from many gay organizations, there exists a subset of the lesbian population that holds movies such as "Basic Instinct" and "Showgirls"--hearty purveyors of gay stereotypes--in high esteem. Some lesbians appreciate these movies as examples of high camp, riddled with over-the-top gay cliches that are too ridiculous to take seriously.

With all that in mind, I submit to you that the first issue of the DC comic book series, Amazons Attack! The Fall Of Washington! is the comic book equivalent of Basic Instinct. It mines the field of women-alone and lesbian pulp villainy for all its worth, and I found I could not get through a single page without dissolving into giggles. I'm going to call out just a few of this title's many highlights (SPOILERS):

The story opens in front of the Lincoln Memorial. A boy of around 8, who for some reason can't read, asks his father to decipher the words of Lincoln graven beneath his statue:

Son: "What's that word?"
Father: "Fathers."
Son: "What's that word?"
Father: "Equal."

I think there's a reference to the father's rights movement in this terse exchange. But before we can get too involved with the father and son story, there's an interruption.

On a impressive spread, an army of Amazons have assembled a rally, Nuremberg style, next to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. The Amazons are accompanied by dinosaurs--probably those lesbian dinosaurs from Jurassic Park that figured out how to mate with each other and produce offspring.

In case you're unsure about the Amazons intentions, a helpful scene here makes it crystal clear. We see the father down on his hands and knees, quivering and crying before an Amazon soldier who hacks him mercilessly with her sword. If this were made into a camp movie, this is the part where all the dykes in the theater would stand up and start screaming, "KILL HIM! KILL HIM!"


I love the close-up image of the blood spattering across the face of the bloodthirsty Amazon, shown above.

Over at the White House, the President is being briefed by an aide on the women's attack. He responds, "Women? Who are they? Israeli?" Then we see the heads of two Secret Service men snapping back dramatically as Amazon arrows land right between their eyes! With the guards dispatched, two Amazonian archers approach the President and his aide, who they refer to as "the cowering one," wondering what to do with them. One soldier comments, "I'll leave that up to you." Oooooo, Amazon torture techniques. Pass the white hot nipple clamps, sister. Then hit him with a wire hanger.

The Amazons overrun Washington D.C. Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, rouses the troops by standing in front of the Washington monument while she addresses her army, saying, "...this city and its architecture mock the buildings of our beloved Themyscira." You have to have an angry woman ranting about a phallic symbol in a title like this. As U.S. war planes approach in retaliation, one of the pilots orders, "Get ready for a strafing run on all those little ladies below." For the rest of the comic, the cigar chomping head of Central Command continues to discuss the military's efforts to subdue "the ladies."

I wonder if there's time to change the name of this title before issue #2 comes out. I think it should be called "Little Ladies Attack!"

I finished Joss Whedon's first issue on Runaways and was happy with his script's continued development of the main characters. I wrote previously here about Xavin, the gender-switching alien and partner of Karolina, and issue #25 continued to develop this character in an intelligent manner.

I also really liked the scene between the lesbian character Karolina and her team mate Nico, a straight girl who she has a not-so-secret crush on. I thought the artist and the writer captured both the sweetness of their affection for each other and the tensions between them. It depicted a very realistic dynamic and will probably be very helpful reading for young gays and lesbians.

In the panel shown here, Karolina has just joined Nico on a rooftop and, finding her friend shivering, wraps her coat and her arms around her. There is a knowing look on Nico's face as she glances sidelong at her friend, who continues to embrace Nico, but she allows Karolina's arms to rest where they are. They both enjoy a moment of reverie, seen in their expressions here, before Nico's jealousy and Karolina's resentment start to surface.

I recently watched the First Annual Queerie Awards, recognizing excellence in presenting gay content in comics. This new awards show comes from the people behind the Comic Book Queers podcast. I was delighted to see the Queeries were presented in video instead of audio format, so that I could visually partake in the glitz and the glamour of this very special night.

In the screengrab shown here, presenter Rhoda Nowhere is announcing Batwoman in DC's 52 #11 as the winner in the "Most Gratuitous Inclusion of a Lipstick Lesbian to Generate Sales Among the Straight Male Demographic" category. I don't know if I agree with the judges on that one, but I enjoyed seeing the award presented anyway. In fact, I felt the true star of the evening was Minion, the winsome bug who brought out the statuettes for the winners. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of him or her in the future. And speaking of him or her, I also thought the Queeries included one of the best-named drag king characters ever, Mike Hunt.

A few weeks ago, I heard an amazing podcast interview with Larry Kramer, founder of ACT UP, or the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, on Democracy Now! I recommend it strongly to anyone who is interested in contemporary politics in the United States. I heard about the show through Wanda Wisdom at Lucky Bitch Radio, who discussed the show on her own podcast.

The interview was conducted to commemorate the anniversary of ACT UP's inception. Kramer talks about why ACT UP was successful in its time and the need for similar activist groups today. My favorite part of the interview is when Kramer calls Ronald Reagan a monster for his part in the AIDS epidemic and says the number of infections and deaths worldwide to date are his true legacy. It was so fucking marvelous to hear Kramer cut through the bullshit sentiment the U.S. has created around Reagan and tell it like it really is.

Whether you're gay or not, you really should listen to this podcast. In addition to being relevant to the continuing AIDS situation, it's also very on point regarding our current health care problems in the U.S. and what can be done about them.

On Sunday morning, the Cute-Little-Red-Headed-Girlfriend and I were scheduled to attend a jazz brunch with free mimosas as part of our VIP (Very Into Pussy) Package. It was a really charming event, held in a courtyard restaurant across from our hotel. The jazz singer at the event was also a lesbian and she began her set with "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever." She called out to the crowd, "How many of you know this song?"

I was puzzled by her question--group of lesbians, broadway musical, Barbra Streisand--who doesn't know this song? Then the answer hit me with great force: "The women sitting here are too young to know this song." Mentally, I felt myself move one giant step closer towards a spot in my brain marked "See plastic surgeon."

I was so distressed by my realization that I didn't even think, as I would much later, "this never would have happened at a women's music festival." That's because at a women's music festival, I would probably have been sitting on a port-a-potty listening to the thunderous sound of drumming coming from a menopause celebration ritual in progress 100 yards away.

Later that evening, we wound up embracing the old school lesbian ways and dyking out with the dykier dykes. I'd heard that a group of lesbians with North Carolina affiliations were planning to gather at the hotel bar and watch the women's basketball game on a big plasma screen and knock back a few brews. It sounded just right, even if I was the odd woman out and the girls nicknamed me "Duke."

As we watched the game, the conversation turned to "Vanessa," one of the burlesque dancers at Dinah. One of the women had fallen hard for this dancer, and was eager to tell us about her many wonderful talents. At the top of the list was her ability to shake her incredibly tight little ass like no one else. One of the women who had seen Vanessa described her ass as "double-jointed." Although probably anatomically inaccurate, this description seemed to jog a few memories. Several women nodded thoughtfully as if to say, "why, yes, I have seen a double-jointed ass recently."

We all then decided to stomp on over to the Final Night Party to help our new friend search for Vanessa. I had my doubts about how long the relationship might last, but it seemed like a good enough way to end our adventures at Dinah Shore.

On Saturday night, the Cute-Little-Red-Headed-Girlfriend and I went to the Egyptian-themed "Ra" party held at the convention center. The place was decorated in a glitzy Vegas-style Egyptian theme, complete with a huge Tut mask dominating the central stage. A laser light show beamed Egyptian glyphs across the walls of the dance hall; I particularly liked the green undulating snakes. Dancers energetically engaged their admirers from platforms raised above the dance floor, but the attendees themselves were showing a little wear and tear from all the partying. It was like the entire crowd had that not-so-fresh feeling.

In addition to the dance and stage area, Ra provided a casino where women could play poker, blackjack, craps and other games. A salsa room and a karaoke room were also on offer, along with drinks, drinks, and more drinks. (Gays and alcohol sponsorship--now there's a marriage that's lasted.)

The draw that night was Carmen Electra and her Bombshell Babes, scheduled to perform at midnight. While at Dinah, I became aware that Carmen had a lesbian following, though I never met actually anyone who belonged to it. Like me, most of the women I talked to knew vaguely who Carmen Electra was but drew a blank on more specific questions like "what precisely is she famous for?" and "why should I care?"

Now that I've seen her act, I can tell you that Carmen Electra's stage act is a cirque du soleil influenced burlesque act. A few of the Bombshell Babes did some impressive gymnastic work, especially one trick that involved shimming up a rope, tying complicated knots around their semi-nude bodies with long red swaths of cloth, then unfurling themselves from the cloth so that their bodies dropped dramatically to inches above the stage. But overall, for an act that was advertised as sexy I found it to be sort of generic.

As I've stated before, the Cute-Little Red-Headed-Girlfriend and I were motivated to go to Dinah in the first place because Lucy Lawless was going to perform on stage. The next night, I stayed up until 4 am writing a report on the performance for AUSXIP, the comprehensive Xena fan site, and sent pictures in to the site in ones and twos through my gmail account on a slow wireless connection from my hotel room.

I thought about crossposting my report here, since it includes a detailed description of the PURE White Party. However, the report was really written for my hardcore sisters and brothers in the Xenaverse, so I'm once again just going to point anyone who's interested in reading it over there. If you're one of the new visitors coming to read about Dinah and you're interested in Lucy's singing, you should check out the performance videos on her website. She also has a gig coming up soon in New York.

Before the evening got started, however, the Cute-Little Red-Headed-Girlfriend concocted a complicated plan of attack for the party, which involved eating a precise amount of food at a certain hour, followed by a certain proportion of alcohol within a specified period of time. The liquor was flowing freely at the VIP Cocktail party thanks to the good folks at Finlandia Vodka, and before I knew it the Girlfriend was flying! And soon, everyone wanted to be our friend. People we barely knew were grasping the Girlfriend by the shoulders and screaming, "I looooove you!" and "You're so adorable!"

Riding the crest of my Girlfriend's popularity when wasted, we met lots of really nice dykes that evening. And we had a fabulous time together. Everywhere around us, the women looked hot and were dancing and getting wild. Artificial snow whirled down on our heads, and here and there clothes were being removed on the dance floor while gorgeous teams of burlesque dancers performed erotic routines on stage.

The PURE White Party was one of the best parties I've ever attended. If only to recreate that experience, I'll be going back to Dinah Shore next year. Because for a few blissful hours at the PURE White Party, it was like lesbian endless summer, and the world was all sunshine and tits.

Alex in Wonderland asks if the Amazons in Wonder Woman need to update their "Code of the Amazons" based on various developments in the series. I hadn't realized how beautiful their original code was:

So, in their wisdom, the Goddesses did create a race of female warriors, dedicated to the ideals of uniting all people, all sexes, all races, all creeds.

Friday night was the main event for us. We had signed on the for the Dinah Shore Weekend VIP package, or as I like to call it, the Very Into Pussy package, which provided us with tickets to a VIP Cocktail Party prior to the big PURE White Party.

The Cute-Little-Red-Headed-Girlfriend requested four to five hours to get dressed and ready to attend the night's events. This did not surprise me. The CLRHG had already spent that much time culling through her wardrobe and makeup in order to pack, and had wound up taking three to four times as much luggage as me. My most meticulous packing activity for Dinah was probably double counting my underwear to make sure I brought enough.

While the Girlfriend changed her outfit a dozen times of more, I had time to kick back in our luxury room and reflect. Although I had never been to Dinah before, I had been to another type of lesbian group event, the women's music festival. Actually, I had been to several, both the women-only and lesbian-only variety.

I first heard about women's music festivals during my teenage years. I had read an interview with then-punk performer Phranc where she talked about participating in all-lesbian camp-outs. I wasn't out yet and didn't know a single lesbian personally. I was deeply intrigued by the idea that somewhere there existed many lesbians and by the idea that they camped together. It almost seemed too far-fetched to be true.

But I later discovered it was true. There was even a festival circuit of sorts, which fostered many musical talents. Melissa Etheridge was one of the notable singers to come up through festival culture. Lilith Faire, in my view, later took its cues from the lesbian music festival.

Although music was the focus, these festivals also offered comedy, short plays, indie films, and informal seminars on every imaginable topic. But often the topic was politics: feminism, socialism and various forms of activism. I didn't see anything like that on offer at Dinah. Of course, I also wasn't suffering through primitive camping shower arrangements or working the co-op volunteer labor shifts that were part of women's festival culture.

The comparison between Dinah and women's music festivals seems relevant to me because, from what I understand, the festivals are on their last legs. As lesbians embrace the pro-capitalist consumer culture of Dinah, I wonder: are the choices open to lesbians becoming more plentiful, or less?

The Cute-Little-Red-Headed-Girlfriend and I checked into our hotel in Palm Springs and were promptly greeted by waves of boisterous lesbians wanting to know how many times we'd been to Dinah before or if we were "Dinah virgins." I really hated having to admit to being a Dinah virgin, but I nodded, yes, I was a first-timer.

In fact, I did have some preconceived ideas about Dinah that I was eager to confirm or deny. As I've stated previously, most lesbians are aware of Dinah's reputation as a magnet for beautiful lesbians. Would the women be as beautiful as I'd heard? Would they be as plentiful in number? The doubts I had could only be put to rest by offering my pure body up to Dinah.

Comedy was on the schedule for Thursday night and we ventured out that evening to see comics Page Hurwitz, Poppy Champlin and Michele Balan. I've never been disappointed by a night of lesbian comedy. It's something my people do very well. Earlier this year, when Christopher Hitchens published his assaholic essay entitled "Why Women Aren't Funny," one of the few original ideas he presented was a rationale for why lesbians are good comics ("And the Sapphic faction may have its own reasons for wanting what I want—the sweet surrender of female laughter." We had a hysterical, raunchy good time.

(This picture is not from comedy night by the way. I did not take pictures of the comics. So here's a burlesque dancer from Friday night instead. Hope you don't mind.)

As we were exiting the elevator into the lobby that night, we got our first glimpse of one of the beautiful girls we'd heard so much about. Like most of the beautiful lesbians we saw that weekend, she was wearing what I came to recognize as the standard beautiful girl outfit: hotpants and a halter top. Just to rub it in, she was also wearing heels, and of course, she had long, flowing hair. Long flowing hair, especially blonde hair, is a big part of the Dinah aesthetic. Then sitting down in the audience, we had opportunity to examine the extensiveness of the beautiful girl population. And indeed, I am happy to report from the field that they are in fact just as numerous as legend holds.

The Cute Little Red-Headed Girlfriend and I have returned chez nous after our insanely great long weekend at Dinah Shore. I was shocked to discover that the Old Grey Lady even had something to say about the event. You know you're loose when even she notices.

Anyway, I didn't get around to blogging while at the event, though I did manage to file a report on Lucy Lawless's performance for AUSXIP from the hotel. Go there to read it. I did Twitter for the first three days before running out of steam. I'm currently cleaning up some of the photos I took and then I'll start posting about my experience there in earnest.

This is my last post from home before I leave for Dinah, and I'm keeping it brief. There's a lot of celebrity entertainment at Dinah this year, including the actors who play Shane and Alice from the L Word, Carmen Electra, Sandra Bernhard, Renee O'Conner, and more. But there's just one reason we're going out to the desert:


Lucy Lawless is performing Friday at midnight.

I've set up a Twitter page so that readers can follow my brief updates of what's going on at Dinah Shore.

On a recent This Week in Tech podcast, host Leo Laporte called Twitter "instant messaging in public," which seems like a good basic definition of Twitter if you've never heard of it before. If you want to find out more about Twitter, this is the best article I've read so far that explains what Twitter is and some of the different ways to use it. The downside to Twitter is that it's become so popular that the service can be unbearably slow at times.

If you can't get to my page during Dinah Shore, it probably says something like this:

• tinyrooster: gettin' it on 12 hours ago from web


• tinyrooster: gettin' it on 10 hours ago from web


• tinyrooster: i'm poolside. got the sweetest hangover 1 hour ago from web

Did I mention I miss Rome already? I know that was an abrupt segue but it's related to Dinah in a lying-around-with-your-lover-on-a-divan kind of way. It's also the type of random observation one can get away with on Twitter, but not so much on a blog.

One of the interesting things about Dinah Shore is that, although the event came out of the sartorially-challenged world of golf, it's become known for attracting the more conventionally attractive and better dressed lesbian. This raises the troubling issue of what to pack and what to wear.

Right now I'm stressed out about the Pure White Party, which promises "over 3000 beautiful women all clad in WHITE." So here's the thing: I own one white t-shirt and several pairs of white sports socks. And that does not an outfit make.

I'm not really into the whole white thing; it just doesn't fit my personality. When I think of white clothes and Palm Springs all that comes to mind is Sonny Bono in a white mock turtleneck and a pair of white sansabelt pants from the Johnny Carson Apparel Collection. Okay, so I'm a bit of a crossdresser and maybe that's part of my problem.

As if the clothing situation weren't bad enough, I have to worry about accessories, too. Because of the L Word's influence, lesbians have started carrying purses instead of the more typical backpacks and fannypacks.

I have two fashionable manbags to my name, one from Tumi and the other a Jack Spade, but neither are white, so they won't pass muster. Fortunately, I found this lovely white vulva-shaped handbag at an online store called Velvet Vulva. It's enormous, so I shouldn't have any problems fitting a camera in there or whatever else I need.

What do you think will happen to me if I don't wear white to the Pure White Party? Will I be shunned by my fellow lesbians? I'm used to straight girls giving me a hard time about my wardrobe ("Your clothes are too baggy"), but for other lesbians to diss what you're wearing, truly, that is the lowest point.

Since I'm going to be driving out to Palm Springs for Dinah Shore, I figured I would use the occasion to pimp my ride. Because we all the know the ladies enjoy a good ride. Actually, it has less to do with impressing women and more to do with anticipating traffic. I've heard that the road from L.A. to Palm Springs is basically one long caravan of dykes before Dinah, and if the traffic is going to be bumper to bumper I'm going to want some music to calm my nerves.

After checking around on various audio forums, I decided I wanted to upgrade my head unit (heh, heh) to one that could play mp3 CDs and integrate with my second-gen iPod Nano. I wound up choosing a Pioneer model based on my online research. It has this very cool blue readout with a slew of different visualizations, including a movie of dolphins frolicking in the ocean.

Next I made the decision not to install the new unit myself. I don't mind opening the computer or other electronics but I'm not ready for car electronics yet. Plus I'm a busy lesbian and sometimes one just has to pay for these things. I also decided I did not want Circuit City or some big box store messing with my car. So I went to California Car Sounds on National in Los Angeles and they did the installation and setup for me. These guys were cool so if you're looking for a car audio shop in L.A., I had a good experience with them.