On Sunday morning, the Cute-Little-Red-Headed-Girlfriend and I were scheduled to attend a jazz brunch with free mimosas as part of our VIP (Very Into Pussy) Package. It was a really charming event, held in a courtyard restaurant across from our hotel. The jazz singer at the event was also a lesbian and she began her set with "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever." She called out to the crowd, "How many of you know this song?"

I was puzzled by her question--group of lesbians, broadway musical, Barbra Streisand--who doesn't know this song? Then the answer hit me with great force: "The women sitting here are too young to know this song." Mentally, I felt myself move one giant step closer towards a spot in my brain marked "See plastic surgeon."

I was so distressed by my realization that I didn't even think, as I would much later, "this never would have happened at a women's music festival." That's because at a women's music festival, I would probably have been sitting on a port-a-potty listening to the thunderous sound of drumming coming from a menopause celebration ritual in progress 100 yards away.

Later that evening, we wound up embracing the old school lesbian ways and dyking out with the dykier dykes. I'd heard that a group of lesbians with North Carolina affiliations were planning to gather at the hotel bar and watch the women's basketball game on a big plasma screen and knock back a few brews. It sounded just right, even if I was the odd woman out and the girls nicknamed me "Duke."

As we watched the game, the conversation turned to "Vanessa," one of the burlesque dancers at Dinah. One of the women had fallen hard for this dancer, and was eager to tell us about her many wonderful talents. At the top of the list was her ability to shake her incredibly tight little ass like no one else. One of the women who had seen Vanessa described her ass as "double-jointed." Although probably anatomically inaccurate, this description seemed to jog a few memories. Several women nodded thoughtfully as if to say, "why, yes, I have seen a double-jointed ass recently."

We all then decided to stomp on over to the Final Night Party to help our new friend search for Vanessa. I had my doubts about how long the relationship might last, but it seemed like a good enough way to end our adventures at Dinah Shore.