One of the interesting things about Dinah Shore is that, although the event came out of the sartorially-challenged world of golf, it's become known for attracting the more conventionally attractive and better dressed lesbian. This raises the troubling issue of what to pack and what to wear.

Right now I'm stressed out about the Pure White Party, which promises "over 3000 beautiful women all clad in WHITE." So here's the thing: I own one white t-shirt and several pairs of white sports socks. And that does not an outfit make.

I'm not really into the whole white thing; it just doesn't fit my personality. When I think of white clothes and Palm Springs all that comes to mind is Sonny Bono in a white mock turtleneck and a pair of white sansabelt pants from the Johnny Carson Apparel Collection. Okay, so I'm a bit of a crossdresser and maybe that's part of my problem.

As if the clothing situation weren't bad enough, I have to worry about accessories, too. Because of the L Word's influence, lesbians have started carrying purses instead of the more typical backpacks and fannypacks.

I have two fashionable manbags to my name, one from Tumi and the other a Jack Spade, but neither are white, so they won't pass muster. Fortunately, I found this lovely white vulva-shaped handbag at an online store called Velvet Vulva. It's enormous, so I shouldn't have any problems fitting a camera in there or whatever else I need.

What do you think will happen to me if I don't wear white to the Pure White Party? Will I be shunned by my fellow lesbians? I'm used to straight girls giving me a hard time about my wardrobe ("Your clothes are too baggy"), but for other lesbians to diss what you're wearing, truly, that is the lowest point.